Sunshine in Cyber Space

Feel that? That feeling of Springtime and fresh laundry? The slight scent of tulips or a lingering summer rain? That, my friend, is the sweet sensation of a brand new blog. Gone are the shackles of MySpace! Gone are the bonds of FaceBook! That feeling is the feeling of liberty. That scent is the scent of freedom.

Of course, it's always a little uncomfortable when you move into a new place -- it doesn't feel quite like home or it doesn't fit exactly like the old one did. It takes breaking in. You can't jump right into the hard-hitting, side-splitting blogs. Oh, no. You've got to kind of ease into it. Just write about the commonplace. The obvious. Like this blog. It's new. You knew that already, so why should I bother telling you about it? It's not as if you would have gotten lost or horribly confused if I hadn't mentioned it. It's just what you do. Test the boundaries. Stretch the limit. Wiggle around in all that new space. Get used to it.

You know what else will take some getting used to? The cancellation of the publication of the Weekly World New. I found out about it today. You don't know how much that depresses me. I always knew that no matter how bogged down the world got by propaganda and lies, the Weekly World News would be my Check Out Stand Beacon, guiding me through the muck and mire of spin and slander to the light of truth. But now, I can't even count on that. Who can I count on? CNN isn't going to report on the exploits of Bat Boy, no matter how heinous or heroic. The New York Times won't give me the scoop on Elvis's return from the dead. Newsweek won't tell me about the love child an alien and some politician's wife. Now I'll never know. I will constantly live in fear because the Weekly World News won't be there to tell me the truth about the dangers that lurk in this dirty little universe of ours. We are on our own, ladies and gentlemen. We are on our own.

I grew up knowing the Weekly World News would be there for me. It's hard for me to think about being alone and fending for myself. But, just like anything, it takes getting used to. I need to get comfortable with that notion. I need to come to terms with the fact that another fine publication may never rise up to take up the mantle of truth that the WWN once held. I need to learn how to sort out the facts and the fictions myself. That, and I need to learn karate so that when the robots take over, I'll be ready.

Now THAT may take some getting used to.