Geographic Displacement

Finals are a major cause of fear.

People all over the campus have minor phobias of them. Frankly, after having taken a few, I'm not quite sure what all the fervor and fear is about. Don't get me wrong -- I get caught up in the frenzy myself. I cram and fret and consume massive amounts of caffiene just like everyone else. I have one final left and it's causing me great amounts of stress. But the ones I've taken so far? They're not terrible. They weren't the demonic bastions from hades I thought they would be. Frankly, they're not much harder than high school tests.

So why the fear? It's not really the test itself. It's the percentage. It's all a mind game, you see. A crazy, crazy mind game. The professors let you know that the tests are going to be 40% or 50% of your final grade. This means that all those tedious essays you worked on so assiduously, all those quizzes you studied so diligently for, and all those discussions you purposefully participated in were for nothing. They were simple exercises meant to stretch your brain. The real thing is this one test based on one day -- a day that's tainted by lack of sleep and the sloth that precedes vacation. No wonder people are nervous! Something that simple and that short can make or break you.

That's a major cause of stress. But you see, they can't just leave it at that. They have to add even more stress and confusion. So they schedule your final to take place at an unfamiliar time in an unfamiliar room. And then forget to tell you about it.

This is what happened to me today. Now, I certainly won't rule out the possibility that they announced the room the final would be in and I just didn't hear it because I was busy thinking about how much I didn't want to be in class at that time. That could have happened! However, I'm always more willing to believe that there was a conspiracy.

I knew that the final was at 12:30. I assumed that it would be held in the room where we normally have lecture. That's where we had the midterm, after all. Why wouldn't we do the same thing for the final? You know -- a nice fond farewell to the room that's seen us through the semester. But no. I get to the lecture hall and there are other people there. People from another class. I have no idea who they are and they have no idea who I am. I see one who's collecting papers -- a GSI by the looks of her -- and I ask her if there's another class moving in to take a final in about five minutes (it was about 12:25 at the time). She gives me The Look and I know -- I just know! -- what she's going to say. So by the time she says it, I'm outta there, running off to the near-ish geography building.

Yes. I was literally running. I know this is against my code -- never run unless something is chasing you -- but I did it anyway, trying to play it off cool like I wasn't panicing. The test might be in the Geography building, right? That would make sense since it's my geography final. And if it's not, then I can at least go to the department office and ask where it's at. Someone in there should know!

The elevator ride up to the fifth floor where the geography department is was an eternity and guess what? The main office wasn't even open. It was closed. There was no one there. I was alone in a strange place with enough knowledge to know that I wasn't in the right place but not enough to know where I had to be. I was just about to give up hope when I saw a posting of all the locations of the finals -- my shining, saving light!

It was in Dwinelle. Why would it be there? But either way, it was. So I ran. Again. It was just far enough away to make me panic even more. But I made it there only ten minutes late. That wasn't as bad as it could have been. Not nearly. Then I get the test and that wasn't even that bad -- not that I'm counting chickens or anything. It just felt pretty good. They had a three hour time slot for us to finish and it took me only about ninety minutes. So that wasn't terrible.

So finals are phobias. Irrational fears created by evil professors and perpetuated by the college mileau. It's a fear that strikes everyone at one point or another. I can certianly see why. But I only have one more left and then vacation. One more that I'm still rather nervous for. But after that, no more worries! No more studying! No more tests!

And hopefully no more running.